Fall and Winter

(Well, so much for a monthly blog posting. But since we didn't have consistent internet service until January, we had to let certain projects go. We do hope to blog in a more timely manner this spring, but for now, this continues Tamara's thoughts and observations from the end of the last posting until January 2008. Happy reading. And please check out the new link on the right to photos of our time in Bulgaria.)

September ?

We are showing the apartment for the owners, and at the very first visit, Tristan pipes up and says “Tell him about the gang fight!” Dimitri wanders out onto the balcony where I’m showing the lovely views, and announces “This is a bad apartment,” to which I reply “For us it is, baby, because it’s too small.” After the visitor left, Dimitri asked,

“Why can’t we tell them about the cockroaches?”

* * *

September 18

We’ve been showing the apartment for almost two weeks now, and when we thought we had a taker, the owner stopped communicating with us, and the opportunity was lost. Frustrating.

The kids are having some ups and downs in school, yet I feel confident things will smooth out in a few weeks. Dimitri is having the easier time of the two….

* * *

October 11, 2007

We finally found a renter for the old apartment (the very same person we had tried so hard to place in the apartment the week before). On September 26, the owner showed up, the new renter was there, and we received the damage deposit without a problem. It was amicable enough, and we were quite relieved to have it behind us.

Peter and Georgann stayed with us another few days, and then they headed off to Nice and some other places in the south for a week. They subsequently returned for another stint in Paris, and we had several lovely days before they had to return to the States.

One day, we were all walking with Peter and Georgann, after a nice dinner out, near Place de la Concord. I was playing with Dimitri, carrying him on my back sideways with his belly to my back and swinging him around. We were walking this way, threading our way through lots of people who were out for the evening. I remember seeing this man walking towards us, watching us, and his face went from passive, even somber, to opening up like a flower with a beautiful smile and shining eyes that reflected our joy. That image stayed with me for days.

That same night, there was a big celebration all over Paris called La Nuit Blanche (the white night). Places all over the city had events and there was music all night in some places. We wandered between Place de la Concord and the Louvre Palace in the Tuileries Gardens. There were hundreds of huge candles in flower pots that were arranged in different patterns. One extravagant arrangement of about 100 pots was lighted and then raised about 50 feet above our heads by this enormous crane. We walked through the garden for over an hour before going home. My favorite fire pot arrangement was a globe shape that was about 15 feet high and had 60-70 pots in it. This arrangement was repeated in many locations, and was equally pleasing to me each time I saw it.

The new apartment is so much better than the old one. It is much quieter, bigger, and simply more appropriate for our family. Nothing like the space we are used to in our own home, but our standards have changed dramatically. The only frustrating thing about our move is that the Freebox, which is a unit that allows us to use internet, phone, and have a gazillion tv programs, got routed to the wrong phone line since the previous owner gave us the wrong number. So for some insane reason, we have to cancel our subscription, send the equipment back to the company, wait for it to be credited, then reapply for another Freebox. Not to mention that each time you request a new line, it costs 90 Euros, which at the current exchange rate is about … $126. We were about to tear out our hair over the issue, but Dimitri put it into perspective. He said, “Is it as bad as me dying?” Obviously not, and of course that made me think a bit. At the end of the day, what is important is that we are all safe and healthy and we are having a very unique experience here in France. And I can always go to an internet café . . .

Everything takes so much time here. At the old apartment, the owners ordered a new refrigerator the first day we were in the apartment. It was delivered in just a few days, but unfortunately was too big for the space (the owner had not bothered to measure the fridge, but had just eyeballed it). So they went ahead and left the new fridge, told us that we could use it and that we needed to go to the store and pick a smaller model. I dutifully went to the store (Darty) and picked out a model that was smaller but the same price. After much discussion and communicating with the owners, we went back and ordered a cheaper model, but it wasn’t available for two weeks. So we made do with the bigger fridge totally in our way in the kitchen for the two weeks. One day before delivery was to occur, the store called the owners (even though I had given them my number) and said there was a delivery problem and they would call us in a few days. They did not call, and when I went back to the store again to straighten it out, they reset the delivery for the following week. We got the new and correct sized fridge exactly one day before we moved out of the apartment. It took one month to get a fridge delivered!!!

On the positive side of things, I have committed to exploring Paris methodically with my niece, Emily. Emily is working part time for a retired movie star, Olivia de Haviland. She is also applying to veterinary schools and trying to get some more experience in the field of veterinary medicine. Even though she has been here for two years, she has not seen a lot of the cool things that are here. So we have decided to try to do something special with each other once weekly in order to experience more of the headliner sites in Paris. Last week, we went to the Museum of Natural History – the section on comparative anatomy. There were over 1000 skeletons of different animals from frogs to baleen whales as well as numerous samples of various animals in different stages of dissection in jars of preservative. Most of this exhibit is over 100 years old, and some of the specimens are 200 years old!

* * *

October 19, 2007

The weather has continued to be fabulous. My brother Brian and his wife Paula were here Saturday through Wednesday, and it was beautiful the whole time they were here. The day they arrived was the day of Tristan's performance at the opening ceremony of the annual Montmartre Grape Harvest Festival. Tristan dutifully got on stage with his class and mouthed the words in French to “Brave Margo,” a song by Georges Brassens that talks about a shepherdess who finds a stray kitten. She nurses the kitten at her breast, and when she pulls back her blouse to nurse the kitten, all the guys in the village were there, there, there, there (“la la la la” in French, with a clear double-entendre). The women of the village grow jealous and end up killing the cat, and the shepherdess, in her grief, takes a husband as a consolation. Georges Brassens is an extremely popular artist in Paris, and everybody loves this song. Not what you would find 8-year-olds singing in the States, however!!!

After the performance, there was a huge parade with people in costume from their respective regions showing off their harvest and regional products. There were also dancers doing folk dances, folk musicians playing the hurdy gurdy and accordions, brass bands, baton twirlers, etc. There were people walking along, pouring samples of wines from their regions, and one group of guys were carrying a huge wooden barrel full of freshly picked grapes that they were handing out (yum!). The parade went all the way to rue des Abesses, which is right next to where we live.

Sunday, we celebrated Emily's birthday with a crepe breakfast, and then walked up to Sacre Coeur, where there were a gazillion booths with wine, cheese, bread, pate, sausages, and other foods from all over France. Brian bought some foie gras du canard, I bought some other yummies, and we came home and had a feast.

Monday, I took Brian and Paula to Les Jardin des Plantes, and we went to the Museum of Natural History’s Comparative Anatomy section, a.k.a. the skeleton museum. It was super interesting to me and Brian, but rather boring for Paula. The next day, we went to the Chateau de Versailles, an enormous castle built in the late 1600’s around the time of Louis XIV and XV and Marie Antoinette. We spent most of the day in the extensive gardens. We had a wonderful feast picnic, and at the end I did a whirlwind tour of the palace. We were exhausted, but happy. Paula is such a trouper - she cannot ride escalators, so she does the stairs in all of the metros, which means that she walks more in Paris than the average tourist - whew! They took off for Nice on Wednesday, and will be back through for a couple of days in a week.

The boys are continuing to learn, and things are gradually getting easier for them. According to Tristan, he does not understand anything, but according to one of his friends, he has made a lot of progress (we had our first play date last Friday). I am sure he will learn in spite of himself as time goes on. Both the boys still get tired, but it is not as dramatic as when school first started. We are making a huge effort to have a consistent schedule with bed times and good nutrition, and that has helped.

We still do not have a phone line, so we cannot hook up to an internet/phone/television service. This is the never-ending saga with tons of boring details about red tape and miscommunication. It will simplify our lives dramatically when it is all set in place. I am particularly looking forward to having a phone that I can use for free international calls. Tristan is, of course, looking forward to a consistent internet service! I have pretty much stuck to my guns about not letting the kids have computer time during the week, and they only get two hours of computer time on weekends. The exception is that I have given them some computer rewards for some goals they have reached in French. Now both kids can count to 100 pretty flawlessly in French. We are working off and on with conjugations of French verbs, but that is going slower. I feel that if they are not always obsessing about the computers, they rediscover that they have other toys. Anyway, we'll see how things go. Their overall behavior is better if they have less computer time.

Dimitri is so compassionate for animals. We have to be careful about what we eat around him. He will eat no meat except porc, because “pigs are stupid.” He chose to ignore me when I pointed out that pigs are actually quite smart. He loves snails and shellfish, because they are cute, and gets quite upset when he finds that we are eating anything of the kind. At one point, we were eating clams, and he begged me to stop eating them. My salivary glands were working overtime with the deliciousness of the clams, and I continued to eat them. Dimitri had to leave the room. Another time, we were eating a type of roe in cream sauce on crackers, and when he discovered what we were eating, he said, “You have no respect for fish!”

Tristan, too, is quite compassionate towards the shellfish. I remember once when Tristan was three or four years old, we bought some live clams at a wharf, and he released them into the ocean. It a was beautiful moment. He was quite distressed once when he saw a fishing show where a swordfish had been caught and was being clubbed or gaff-hooked to death.

* * *

November 24, 2007

We had an absolutely fantastic Thanksgiving Day in Paris! As we were preparing to cook pies the day before, the oven went out, but fortunately, a neighbor a half-block away let me use her oven. We did the rest of the cooking on the stove top, improvising as we went. Emily rocked with a stunning gluten-free stove-top dressing and gluten-free gravy with duck giblets - both were absolutely delicious! We had traditional Smith-family cranberry relish and a sweet cranberry concoction (fresh) made by Emily's new friend, Rebecca. Since Turkeys cost 7-10 Euros per kilo (up to $8/ pound), and since we did not have an oven, we went with a pressure cooker and a chicken. Fifteen minutes, and voila, cooked and moist and delicious. I think I'm a convert to the pressure cooker!!! Sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, capers, olives, salad, green beans, and pumpkin pie. The works. Emily, Rebecca, and I had a blast cooking and singing together.

Emily met Rebecca not too long ago through a mutual friend of theirs. She has Boulder connections through Naropa and Frog Belly Farm, a place up on Nelson road which happens to be across from where Thea Tenenbaum lives. So Rebecca knows Thea, and she knows Toby - she took a singing workshop from him! She actually has a bunch of his music here in Paris, and is going to leave it with me to learn. There is also some folkdance connection through Thea's daughter. I told her about the time Toby and his then girlfriend taught me the Hallelujah rounds when I was 13 years old and spending a summer in Alaska with Pat Burge. Small world. I'll have to email Toby.

We had a wonderful sense of euphoria when we finally got connected to the world again with internet and phone last Friday. Unfortunately, our elation was short-lived. The new system worked for a few days, then started going on the blinks, and now it does not work at all. It costs about a dollar a minute to call customer service, and they are not patient at all, plus the cell phones keep cutting out. Well, just another test of our patience. Meanwhile, we are back to pirating the wireless connection of the cafe next door until we can get some help with our system.

We have adopted a little critter called an octodon degus. It is a little rodent like creature from Chile that is related to the chinchilla, guinea pig, and rabbit. It was found by this lady in a park - she is from Chile and recognized the creature. It was very cold, so the little guy was easy to catch. Anyway, they are predisposed to being diabetic, and I think this one already is diabetic, which may be why it was abandoned. He (we think we have seen male privates) has taken up residency in our bathtub, where he seems quite content. We have to banish him to a box when it is time for us to bathe - he does not like it at all. We are looking for an appropriate cage, but they have special needs, as they tend to gnaw through anything plastic.

* * *

November 28, 2007

Our internet fiasco continues... We got the modem last week, and everything worked fine for a few days. Then, gradually, it stopped working. After much trouble shooting and very expensive phone calls to customer "service," they informed us that they would send us a new modem. Well, they are actually out of stock at the moment, so it will be another three weeks before we get the new modem. We are so spoiled by exceptional customer service in the States, it is almost unbelievable that it it so hard to get connected. If we change to another company, it will take at least two weeks to get connected with them, so it is hard to decide what to do. Anyway, trying to keep a positive attitude, but I miss being able to call people (the service is phone, internet, and TV).

The other sad thing is that the degu died Sunday. It was clear that he was already sick when we got him, but I did not expect to lose him so quickly. We had researched his dietary needs thoroughly, and were providing everything that we could find that was recommended. I think that what ultimately happened was that he started nibbling on his bath sand due to "pica," a behavior that happens in some illnesses when the animal eats something it doesn't normally eat (usually dirt or sand). Anyway, he had an acute GI stasis and everything shut down. I had some medications with me and treated him like a rabbit, since their GI systems are similar, but to no avail. He had an abnormal breathing pattern from the beginning, and was off and on squinty-eyed, but I was hoping that with good management and nutrition I could turn him around. We are planning a burial in Bois de Boulogne tomorrow.

Other than that, we are enjoying being here. We have entertained here at the apartment several times with French guests, which is excellent for practicing our French. Also, I am trying to get out a bit each day to seek interactions, as it is easy to isolate myself in the apartment doing homemaker-type things.

Emily is in Italy this week, but when she gets back we'll continue our plans for exploring Paris together. Our next adventure is to go observe a master dressage trainer at the royal stables at Versailles next week. I have yet to completely explore my own neighborhood - there is so much to see!

* * *

On December 7^th, my cousin David’s son Wesley Bonham was murdered in Tampa, Florida. He was helping a drifter by the name of Joshua Wilkins by giving him a place to sleep for a couple of nights. Wes met Joshua at the fitness center where he sold memberships, and after talking with him for awhile, felt sorry for him and invited Joshua to crash at his place. Two days later, on Friday, Joshua killed Wesley in Wes’ apartment. He hid the murder weapons (two knives) in a couch, barred the door with the couch, covered Wes’ body with a quilt, and fled in Wes’ rental car. He was caught in Texas after a high speed chase for a traffic violation, and he was arrested for driving an unauthorized vehicle and resisting arrest. Monday, Joshua was charged with first degree murder.

Our world was rocked. Everything came to a standstill and yet everything went on in the world. Disbelief, flurries of phone calls, and many tears shed. Our phone service got disconnected after that first day, so we felt isolated and relied mostly on internet to do our communicating with family.

Christmas came, with grandparents and Auntie Rhonda. We enjoyed each other, and were so glad to be together. It was surreal, preparing for Christmas in spite of what had happened. But it was important to cling onto the tradition of the holiday, and to sincerely enjoy it with family members.

I went back to Oklahoma City to be with family for Wes’ memorial, held January 12th. It was an intense weekend, with many tears shed and also a lot of joy and laughter shared with friends and family.

Now I’m trying to get back to some sense of normalcy as the needs of my children and husband embrace me.

* * *

January 25, 2008

Dimitri will go with his class to a castle called Chateau de Neauphie-le-Vieux for five days and four nights in late March. It is 40km from Paris, and parents are not allowed to go, so it will be a big adventure for him. Regular classes will be held there, as well as all kinds of activities for the kids. They will have horseback riding lessons, experience taking care of farm animals, parties, picnics with bonfires, and who knows what else. Every parent I’ve talked to who has had children attend these events in the past says it is a fantastic experience for children. Some of these kids have never seen farm animals before, so that is exciting. But the main thing is that it is a big step in making kids grow up and establish a level of independence.

Dimitri had to go to the doctor to update his shots yesterday in order to be able to go on the castle trip. The mom of Dimitri’s best friend, Oscar, recommended a doctor who has an office near to where we live. It was a truly unique experience for me to walk into a French doctor’s office in Paris. Everything is handled so differently than in the States. I had called the day before, and the Doctor himself answered the phone. He told me to come fifteen minutes before my appointment time so that he could write me a script for the vaccines. When we arrived, there were five to six people in the waiting room, which was rather small and distinctly dingy. The reception desk consisted of a tiny corner with barely enough room for the secretary to sit to answer the phone. The office was not dirty, just worn out looking. It reminded me of some of the shabbier veterinary clinics I have known in the States. In between patients, the doctor, Dr. Pomey, looked over Dimitri’s shot record, and after a brief discussion with me, sent me next door to the Pharmacy with his secretary to order the vaccines. I paid for the vaccines, and then returned to the doctor’s office to wait our turn to have Dimitri seen. No questionnaires to fill out, no history taken. I looked over the vaccine products carefully, making sure they were what we wanted, and checking the expiration dates. When it was our turn, we were directed into Dr. Pomey’s office. It was about 10’x12’, with a fairly large desk, two chairs in front of the desk for patients, a bookshelf mashed full of books, and a couple of simple pictures on the walls. There was a very small extension to the office at the back, where there was an examination table and a tiny counter and cabinet. After a brief consultation, Dr. Pomey directed Dimitri to the exam table and had him take off his shirt. He clearly was used to children and was gentle and quick with the vaccinations. Since Dimitri was expecting it to hurt (and was pinching his ear and biting his tongue to distract himself), he ended up giggling during the vaccines. Dr. Pomey proceeded to charge us out right there at his desk. No credit cards, mind you. Only checks or cash. Total cost of vaccines and office visit was 64 Euros, 26 of which was the consultation fee of the doctor. A far cry from the sumptuous offices and high doctor fees in the States.

Speaking of health issues, we are on the lookout for lice and pinworms. Evidently, it is often a problem in the schools, and we’ve been warned that it will probably affect us sooner or later. Word has it the lice don’t like lavender essence, so our kids are going to smell like lavender all winter.

* * *

January 26, 2008

Last night we had the first sleepover with Dimitri’s friend Oscar here. All went well, and we discovered that Tristan really likes spending time with Oscar, because Oscar corrects his French, but does not laugh at him.